Here I Go Again ...

It's been a while since I've posted anything -- for good reason. I totally fell off the wagon and it's taken me until now to bring myself to the point of coming out of denial.

I'm even less healthy than I was before and just as fat. I realize that throwing my cares to the wind and letting things just escalate is not going to help matters at all. I absolutely must get serious about my health and change my diet if I have any hopes of making it to my next birthday.

I'm not kidding. I feel it has actually come to that. Every day I wonder if I'm going to have a heart attack or a stroke. I feel the universe is sending me messages constantly (a friend's grandmother just had a stroke and as I was listening to the description of what she was going through, I was envisioning it was ME lying in that hospital bed instead of her. And I couldn't (and still can't) shake those images from my mind.) I keep thinking of my father and his high blood pressure. I think of how I'm just a few years away from the age he was when he died of a massive heart attack.

I think of my mother in the nursing home and how the past several years of her life have been wasted -- and how completely avoidable it all was. I truly believe if my mom had taken better care of herself that she would still be up and running today.

I'm afraid to go to the doctor. I am way past due for a mammogram and pap test but I'm ashamed and embarrassed to go. I know there will be blood tests involved that will not only show that my cholesterol is at dangerously high levels but that I am diabetic. I know my liver is dealing with the affects of fat and sugar and don't even want to think what my triglyceride levels are.

And my blood pressure. I got up the nerve to do a test at one of the kiosks in the store and it was 173/112.  I know that wasn't a fluke. I have seen readings like this before.

So yes -- I'm a mess.

I don't want to place blame on anyone or anything except me. No one makes me eat a bag of Oreos or consume donuts at every opportunity but me. It's all me. I must take responsibility for where my health is now.

And I must take responsibility for changing it.

I know I could go to doctors who would be more than happy to hand me a fistful of prescriptions and tell me to come back in a month and check where I'm at (and make adjustments in those prescriptions accordingly.) I don't want to go that route. I want to get to the cause and cure it. I don't want to just deal with the symptoms.

That's where my diet comes in. I know that by eating plant-based I can reverse just about every health issue I'm dealing with (and probably some that I'm not even aware of ... ) I know the pounds would start to drop off and I'd have more energy and feel better than I have in years.

So what keeps me from doing it? Am I that addicted to this way of eating and the fat, sugar, and salt in the foods I choose that I would put my life on the line?

Apparently the answer is yes. But I'm determined to change. I am doing all I can to educate myself with the belief that once I know better, I can't not know better.

I watched "Forks Over Knives" this morning. It was scary and certainly made an impact. But as I was watching, I ate a piece of pizza. I think about it now and can't believe I did that (when there were salad fixings, fruit, and other healthy options sitting in the fridge right next to the pizza.) I know I'm going to have to really fight to overcome my lack of willpower and the pull of temptation.

I asked my husband if he would watch the movie -- and his response was that he would, but he was not about to become a vegan. I was disappointed (although not surprised) but asked if he would at least watch it in order to understand better what my concerns are and in order to support me better in what I'm trying to do. He said he would.

It's a start. It's a beginning. And it has to be now.

In the meantime, I'm going to get dressed and head for the store. I'm picking up a few ingredients so I can make a pot of soup this afternoon that will hopefully provide me with dinners for the rest of the week. Since I'm working late each day, I'll just make up a bowl of soup when I get home and that will make one meal easier. I'm planning to have smoothies for breakfasts and big salads for lunches. I'll bring chopped veggies and no-fat hummus to work with me to munch on if I get hungry.

It's all plant-based, vegan, high in nutrition and low in fat and calories.

My goal is to make it one week eating this way. I just need to know I can do it. I need to not make a big deal out of it and just live like this is the way I've always lived.

Oh -- and I did one-mile of WATP today. I know it's not much but I want to work my way up to 3 - 4 miles a day gradually. Thankfully I bought a new DVD so I have some different routines to work with. I'm actually excited about that.

So -- with all this said. I'm back. I'm hoping to be posting my progress here on a regular basis, sharing recipes I discover (I just ordered a couple new vegan cookbooks that I'm excited about) and basically just trying to keep myself encouraged and motivated by journaling about my experience.

And praying I see the results I'm hoping for.

Healthy Breakfast Bars

I have a recipe I make up that I call "Healthy Fiber Bars". I tend to eat one everyday for breakfast. I love them because they're quick and easy, (just pull one out of the freezer and pop it in the microwave to heat up) yummy, and (I thought) healthy. I can make a batch up and know that breakfast is covered for the next 3 weeks. Unfortunately, they are not vegan and I'm at a loss for how to rework the recipe to eliminate the dairy in it. That's going to be a project for the very near future.

Wish I knew of someone skilled at converting recipes to vegan. While this one only contains relatively small amounts of butter (1/4 cup) and sugar (1/2 cup) the big problem is that it calls for 2 whole eggs and 8 egg whites which serve as the "glue" for the mix. I'm just not sure how to go about dealing with that part of the recipe.

And of course, my goal is to keep this recipe very low in fat (meaning none added) and vegan. Help!

Easy Peasy Split Pea Soup

Never in a million years did I think I'd be posting a recipe for Split Pea Soup but here goes. My poor husband has been eating Split Pea soup from a can for years because I'm not a pea lover and was certain I would hate this soup. Actually, I remember my mom made it once when I was a kid and insisted I try it. I recall gagging (probably more for her benefit than because it was really that bad) and swearing I would never, EVER eat it again.

Well, promises are meant to be broken I guess. I decided to try making this in hopes that I could find a meal that both my husband and I would be excited about. I adapted this from a recipe by Dr. Esselstyn and it was a winner. Hubby liked it and (gasp!) so did I. 

Easy Peasy Split Pea Soup

2 cups (1 16 oz. bag) dry split peas
10 cups water
2 T Vogue Veggie Base low-sodium broth powder
2 bay leaves
2 tsp dry mustard
1 onion, chopped
2 tsp minced garlic (I used jarred)
4 - 5 celery stalks, chopped
3 medium carrots, chopped
3 medium red potatoes, diced
Freshly ground black pepper to taste
Sea salt to taste

Rinse split peas and pick through, discarding any foreign objects or stones. Place split peas, water, bay leaves, broth powder, and mustard in a large soup pot. Bring to a boil then lower heat and simmer partially covered for about 20 minutes.

Add onion, garlic, celery, carrots, and potatoes. Cover and simmer for about 45 - 50 minutes, stirring on occasion. Add additional water if soup becomes too thick. When split peas have softened and veggies are tender, add black pepper and sea salt to taste.

Note: In retrospect, I would leave out the garlic as my husband isn't a fan and I didn't feel it really added anything to the flavor ... so why have garlic breath if it's not worth it!

Which Program To Follow?

Sometimes I tend to over complicate things. In my desire to move forward, I feel as though I must find the perfect eating plan and follow it exclusively.

This narrow-minded mentality is holding me back from reaching my weight loss and health goals. Why? Because while I'm trying to find the perfect plan, I'm allowing myself to eat junk and be uncommitted. In a way, my inability to narrow down exactly what I'm supposed to do is becoming my grandest excuse of all for remaining unhealthy.

I've been looking at the recommendations of Dr. Joel Fuhrman, Dr. Caldwald Esselstyn, Dr. Neal Barnard, Dr. Dean Ornish, and Dr. John Macdougall. All their strategies make sense yet they all have slightly different guidelines. While all recommend a healthy vegan approach (I say "healthy" because it's pretty easy to eat a completely UN-healthy vegan diet) some say no oils or added fats (such as found in avocados and nuts) and encourage grains, while others say to eat nuts but limit grains. Some suggest limiting the amount and types of fruits and vegetables you consume, others say it's all good.

So who should I believe? What's the best course of action? I think it boils down to what feels right for me.

Since I'm trying to get to a heart-healthy state with lower cholesterol and triglycerides that includes getting to a stable blood sugar level, I've decided to limit the fats and cook without added oil as much as possible. I'm limiting nuts to an occasional tablespoon or so of walnuts on my salads. I'm also trying to focus more on veggies than fruit, but still plan to have several fruit servings each day.

In addition, I'm going to enjoy grains, but will try to limit the amounts to a few servings a day (like oats in the morning and perhaps some brown rice with either my lunch or dinner or a tortilla wrap.) I'm thinking starchy veggies such as potatoes and corn should also be an somewhat limited and occasional treat rather than a daily staple.

It should probably go without saying, but I'm avoiding anything processed. No sweeteners (I'm trying to break my sugar addiction as well.) And I'm staying away from breads and yeast products as much as possible (although I'm OK with whole grain tortillas and wraps as long as they're vegan and don't have added oils or sugars.)

I like (and seem to do best) with routine. I like (need?) to have consistency in what I do. I read in Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease that many of Dr. Esselstyn's patients eat the same thing for breakfast and lunch every single day. To me, that's heavenly. I don't like to have to think about things too much. If I'm going to constantly be planning meals, I'm sunk.

Still, it's nice to have options and to be able to be flexible when necessary. I like to have back-up plans -- or what I call my Plan B.

For now, I'm planning to go with my Esselstyn Breakfast in the morning, my Big Salad at lunch time and then rotate through a bunch of easy-to-prepare dinner options (soups, wraps, salads, or stir-fries during the week, trying some different recipes on the weekend, the winners of which will be added to the weekly rotation.) For me, this means less stress. I love being able to make a pot of soup and freeze it in portions ... or having bean burgers already made and in the freezer. It allows me to have some variety without worrying whether I have the time or ingredients to make whatever is on the menu. I just pull out whatever appeals to me that morning and dinner is basically ready when I am. It also makes dinner prep easier when hubby doesn't want what I'm having. I make up some of his favorites and freeze them as well.

Hopefully, having a fairly consistent routine will mean weight loss and health down the road. I'm just putting this plan and my personal guidelines out there as a way to cement what my routine will be. Again -- having something written down helps to keep me on track.

No excuses. I've got to get serious about this.

My New Favorite -- The Esselstyn Breakfast

It's no secret that I've been on the hunt for a go-to breakfast for a while now. While I like the brown rice breakfast bowls I've been making up, I have to admit they were simply the best I'd come up with up until now.

I really, really, REALLY wanted to like oatmeal. But I just didn't like the texture and taste of it cooked. Maybe it was because I used water instead of milk (soymilk -- which I'm just not that crazy about) but to me it just seemed kind of ... gooey.

Anyway, I happened to be reading Caldwell Esselstyn's book -- Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease and noticed two recipes. The first was called Evelyn's Best Meal of the Day and the second was The Esselstyn Breakfast. Evelyn's recipe includes all the ingredients I used in my version, but she cooks it. The Esselstyn Breakfast allows for more of a build-your-own-breakfast version (using various milks or juices, fruits, etc.)

This is my version of both these recipes. I'm listing the amounts I used since neither recipe didn't list amounts. And I didn't cook my oats -- and can't believe how much I enjoyed them!

Since I'm all about quick and easy, I've already made up baggies with measured portions of oats and raisins for the rest of the week. All I have to do is empty the baggie contents into a bowl, top with 1/2 of a banana or other fruit, and pour on a little apple juice. Voila! Breakfast.

The Esselstyn Breakfast -- Bumme's Version

1/2 cup uncooked rolled oats
1/2 medium banana, sliced*
1/8 cup (2 T) raisins
1/2 cup unsweetened apple juice.

Place oats and raisins in a bowl. Slice 1/2 banana and place over oats. Pour apple juice over all and let sit for a few minutes, stirring on occasion, to let juice absorb into oats and raisins.

Note: This recipe is also published in Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease but called Evelyn's Best Meal of the Day. However, the mixture is microwaved for 90 seconds and again, no measurements are provided.

*I think that other fruits such as blueberries, strawberries, or raspberries could be added in addition to or instead of the bananas.

Fruity Brown Rice Bowl

Here's a nice variation of the Brown Rice Breakfast Bowl recipe. It's another great way to start the morning or makes for a filling lunch treat when you're on the run. And it's another Pack-And-Go idea ... sweet!

Fruity Brown Rice Bowl

1/2 - 1 cup cooked brown rice
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1 T chopped walnuts (optional)
2 - 3 T raisins (optional)
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp ground cloves
1/2 tsp vanilla extract (optional)
1 - 2 tsp pure maple syrup (optional)
1 small banana

Combine all ingredients except banana in a serving size bowl and heat (gently covered) in microwave for 1 - 2 minutes on medium setting, stopping to stir once. Serve topped with sliced banana.

(Can also combine all ingredients except banana in a medium sized saucepan and heat on stove over low heat for about 5 minutes. Top with sliced banana.)

Brown Rice Breakfast Bowl

This is currently my go-to breakfast. It's just awesome. Easy, versatile, filling, satisfying ... I could use up all my good adjectives here describing it but I'll resist.

I've seen several versions of this yummy recipe so it's hard to say who came up with the original recipe, but it seems to me that Bethenny Frankel should get credit for introducing it to the world since she posted a video about it on youtube.

This is the way I make it ...

Brown Rice Breakfast Bowl

1/2 - 3/4 cup cooked brown rice
1/8 cup raisins
1/8 cup dried cranberries
1/2 apple (cut into bite-sized pieces)
1 T chopped walnuts
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp. pure maple syrup
cinnamon (to taste)
ground cloves (to taste)
2 - 3 T water

Put rice in bowl and then stir in remaining ingredients. Let stand for a few minutes to allow rice and raisins to absorb some of the liquid. Microwave for about 45 seconds or until heated through.

You can also place all the ingredients into a small pan and heat on the stove instead of microwaving (healthier!)

Note: I make enough brown rice (about 1 cup dry) to last several days. Store in fridge and dish out as needed.

This is also great for a quick lunch or as a pack-and-go meal!